The Anti-Dolt Blog

The Anti-Dolt Blog
Imbecilic Repellent

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Stupid How-to Articles are Funny!

This is a 2-part post featuring "How to write how-to articles" and "Stupid How-to Articles are Funny!"

Part 1:

This particular stupid topic can be funny and disgusting all at the same time. Most of us have seen them, you know, the silly how-to articles that tell you how to do things that you shouldn't need an article for. Informative articles and how-to guides can be very useful, but how far are they willing to go, to churn out article (if you can call them that) after article about the most inane, vacuous crap you can think of. I thought this was a fun post idea, and today I thought I'd share some fine examples of what I'm talking about when I say "stupid how-to articles are funny!"

Please note: I just went on the web and searched for several phrases until I found 10 how-to article topics for this post. Every page title listed below, was actually on the internet . Actually, some of these subjects were written about numerous times.

Examples:

1) How to eat corn on the cob

2) How to read car gauges

3) How to clean raw carrots

4) How to give your dog a bath

5) How to cut your fingernails and toenails

6) How to wipe your own ass

7) How to remove objects safely from your anus (that one was actually on a Q & A post)

8) How to boil water

9) How to drink water from a water bottle

10) How to mow your lawn

This list could go on and on! Those were just a few I found online within a couple of minutes. LOL!

Image Credit: mastersofmedia.hum.uva.nl/2010/09/13/did-internet-make-me-stupid/

---End of Post "Stupid How-to Articles are Funny!"

Part 2:

Have you ever wondered why the web is littered with so many how-to articles? Have you ever said to yourself, "how do they do that?" Well, fear not, as it's not as hard as you may think. To effectively write a how-to article, one must first know how. You don't have to actually know what you're talking about and, hell, you don't even need good grammar or English skills, evidently. Tell yourself: "Self, I want to write that how-to article. I want to pretend to be an online guru. I want to tell people how to make 500 dollars a day while I'm really writing inane drivel and typing poppycock for pennies."

It is time to slap the "how to" in front of your chosen title and let's start that page! The rest of your title (after the 'how to' part) doesn't really matter, as long as you are telling somebody how to do something. Sure, the SEO lords will tell you that your content must be 'just so' because content is the king, but if you notice, most of the time they can't even spell properly so who cares what they think. Ha!

Now that you have confidently plastered your how-to title, lets begin filling in the body of your text with some senseless twaddle. This is the easy part. Tell me how to drink water from a bottle. Tell me how to read my car gauges. Tell me how to wipe my ass. It doesn't matter, as long as you are how-to-ing me to death like it is 1999. After you get bored writing your vacuous sentences, write a couple more. It is good for you and bad for us. Now, add some related links (if you have any) to your page and hope for the best. That is how you do it. LOL!

---End of Post "How to write How-to Articles"

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