The Anti-Dolt Blog

The Anti-Dolt Blog
Imbecilic Repellent

Saturday, February 14, 2015

My Ode to Valentine's Day Haters

Please note: Although I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day, I just made this short poem up for fun. It does not represent my true feelings about this day (albeit it's pretty close; ha!), etc., but I was trying to write about this subject while pretending to be encountering a sense of loathing, if that makes any sense. LOL!

Dear Valentine's Day, your pre-selected day is so awfully gay.
I feel the need to cast a stone towards your calendaring heart in hopes that you'll eventually decay.
I hate that guilt trip you often portray,
as my love for you will always be perpetually delayed.
This event sucks, for me, as I try to tell my girlfriend that it's just another day.
Why can't the majority realize that it's a commercialized heyday?

Full of aged chocolate and dying roses, this beloved moment is bound to be defunct.
Why can't every day be full of love while the make-believe Cupid lies metaphorically dead in some drunk guy's trunk?

I utterly detest Valentine's Day, and let me tell you why.
There is no need to pretend for a brief while, if you don't mean the things you cry.
Sure, I didn't bring you a dozen red roses, but I kept the thorns.
I like the painful memories, as that provides additional reasons for my scorn.
I am what I am, with or without your approval.
For me, Valentine's Day should be voted for an abrupt removal.

I hate you, so dearly, dear Valentine's Day.
If I was fake, I'd only say "I love you" on this day, and leave the rest for the expensive flowers to say.
But I'm true and genuine, so please let me live through this silly moment without another excuse left for this heartbroken day...

Image Credit: This image is in the Public Domain and is not under copyright protection.

---End of Post "My Ode to Valentine's Day Haters"

Sunday, February 8, 2015

M-theory, Superstring, String Theory and the Song of the Universe

Is there a baloney category on here? Well, I looked for one, but I didn't see it. Anyway, what is up with all the "theory of everything" babble on the web nowadays? It seems that every basement rat and high school dropout is coming out of the woodwork talking about the M-theory, the Superstring theory, or the newly revised String Theory. They keep chattering while I continue to listen to the song of the Universe in my head.

M-theory, not to be confused with the Multiverse Theory (good grief, we have a theory for everything now), is the more revised version that says we need 11 spatial (and space-time) dimensions for the mathemagic, oops, I mean for the mathematics to work.

The original Superstring theories involved 10 dimensions including the 3 in our 3D world plus the one for Time. It suggests that elementary particles are not point-like but are actually like vibrating strings. Yeah, like the ones strummed on a guitar while we are all unknowingly jamming to the song of the Universe. We must have 26 space-time dimensions for the original Bosonic string theory to pretend to work. I hope this makes sense to the readers. :/

The terms String Theory just more or less categorizes all of this mathematical gobbledygook into one category, that way it is easier for our tiny brains to not judge the music. I mean, if there is only one genre for everything, then how can we truly hate all of it? Well, don't answer that question.

I have even heard people try to fuse the Kabbalah into the String Theory stuff, and all I got to say about that is, "good for them." I don't care how you label the ongoing song, as it is what it is. We are all part of the unity, one way or another. The entire Cosmos is atomically connected, so what's all the hoopla & ballyhoo about these freakin' strings relating to Math~Magics?

---End of Post "M-theory, Superstring, String Theory and the Song of the Universe"

Quantum Joke: 2 people in the Wrong Conversation or World?

Ha! I just thought of this joke after retiring for a few minutes - back at my home spaceship. Anyway... A strange guy that appears to have had either too much to drink or too many happy pills, walks up to a quantum mechanic at the local grocery store.

Strange guy says: "Hey, dude, you look like one of those guys that fixes computers. My shit is broken or something. I do all kind of mad studies on there, watch porn and all that mess. It is like my quantum computer. Can you help me?"

Quantum mechanic says: "Interesting. I'm sorry to hear about the disruption of your bowels, but I do know all about quantum computing. In fact, I was just refreshing myself on quantum tunneling, which has many important applications to such devices."

Strange guy: "What? Quantum tunneling? Oh, you must surf the web for that freaky type of adult entertainment. Later weirdo..."

Quantum mechanic: It can also be called barrier penetration, and it is quite freaky, as you say. It is one of the more bizarre consequences of quantum uncertainty and wave-particle duality."

Strange guy: "You're sick, man. You are not penetrating any barrier of mine!"

Quantum mechanic: "It involves quantum particles 'tunneling' through potential-energy barriers that classical particles are forbidden to penetrate."

Strange guy: "Oh, hell no! You are not going to be using those toys on me either!"

Quantum mechanic: "Without this process, nuclei would not be able to decay by ejecting alpha-particles."

Strange guy: "That's called a climax you idiot. Oh my gawd! I'm never talking to strange-looking people again. I've totally lost my buzz now, you sick-twisted pervert!"

Quantum mechanic: "This is such a strange world we live in. I've got to stop searching for a quantum reality. Hmm..."


---End of Post "Quantum Joke: 2 people in the Wrong Conversation or World?"

Related Post:

Common Complaints about Idiotic Drivers

As many of us know, the subject 'idiotic drivers' is probably worthy of a website by itself. However, this topic is so common, that one could probably report back to their blog (or whatever) every 3 out of 4 trips to town, with a crazy story to tell or a humorous rant to share. It seems that idiotic drivers are almost as abundant as the oxygen in the air or, in this case, CO2?

Anyway, I have an endless supply of complaints, but today I'm looking for the common complaints that involves the art of driving a vehicle. Seriously, what do you see happen the most, on the road, that bothers you? Now, sure, one would have more fun telling stories about the most bizarre road incident they have ever seen or the dumbest dolt on wheels they ever encountered, but that is not what this query is about.

For me, it is simple. Bright lights and Blinkers! I see this all the time in my area. Some semi-incoherent, imbecilic jackass driving ahead of me that slams on their brakes and turns left or right without ever hitting their signal light/blinker. This can happen in front of me or from the side or whatever, but regardless of the direction, it always pisses me off! The bright lights only happen at night, of course. I mean, I guess I suppose to be welcomed by your magnificent, gigantic spotlight-like beams that nearly blinds me in such a fashion that I nearly run off the road, but hey, who says flicking the low beams on is too much trouble?

Out of all the idiotic things I commonly see on the road, I witness those two the most. How about your area that is filled with humanoid drivers? I don't know about y'all, but my spaceship looks safer every single day. Now, if I could just get the crystal-based propulsion system fixed from my craft using these Earth-based alloys. Hmm...

Image Credit: Bing Image Search using the 'free to use & share' function. It was altered by my MS Paint program to increase the size, albeit the quality got lost during the process; ha!

---End of Post "Common Complaints about Idiotic Drivers"

Drive-Through ATMs vs. Idiots

I like ATM machines. It is a fairly old technology that involves being able to make bank transactions, etc. The primary function of this glorious machine, for most folks, seems to simply be for, uh, getting money. You know, like pull up to the drive-through ATM, roll down your window, slide your debit card in the slot and select how much cash you want and so on. Well, when idiots are involved, things can get very complicated for them and extremely aggravating for the ones waiting in line to get cash.

It doesn't happen to me that often, but when it does, it vexes me to no end. The other night, I needed cash so I went to my local ATM. I was the 3rd vehicle in line. Some idiot was "manning up" on the machine, evidently. He was driving some big-ass truck that resembled a U-Haul. Anyway, he was there for a long while, standing in front of the ATM as if he was waiting for money to descend from the heavens. He would sort of stagger around from side to side, press a few buttons, stand back, scratch his rectal region, then proceed with the same nonsense, over and over again. He did this for 10 minutes! My gawd! Just what all can you do with a freakin' ATM machine?

The line is now backing up to the road, people are already leaving behind me because they are tired of waiting. The guy now seems to be in a trance. There was one time I opened my door and looked out, just to make sure the guy was still alive or wasn't passed out on the machine. After a couple more minutes went by, the crazed moron finally got into his truck and left. He drove much quicker than he operated the ATM, to say the least. Have you ever been behind an idiot like that, at the drive-through ATMs? Sure, I know a person can check their balance and possibly do a couple more things, but what the hell? If it's a bad card or a lost password, you'd think he would have moved on with his life a little quicker!

---End of Post "Drive-Through ATMs vs. Idiots"

Should Women be Combat Soldiers in the Military?

This could presumptuously be a controversial subject, but I'm curious about what the majority thinks, nonetheless. Personally, I think the physical fitness level in the United States of America has fallen to a ridiculous level, when concerning the majority. I've seen the headlines, read many of the posts, and even written my own, several years ago when I'd view articles - online and in the newspapers - way back when titles like "Americans are too fat to fight" was quite common. It is a shame that the training regimen had to be lowered out of desperation, but that's another subject entirely.

Should women be allowed to be combat soldiers in the military? Hell, should they even be allowed in the military? To me, this is definitely a 2-part question as I think women have the right to join, but I really don't think they belong in combat. As much as the media tries to push the "universal gender" crap, it simply isn't true outside of a few, rare exceptions. In general, men are still men and women are, for the most part (Ha!), women. For the guys out there: If all hell broke loose in a bar, would you send your girlfriend or wife out to protect you while you hid behind the bar stool? For the girls out there: Would you take up arms and get in a gun or knife fight in your front yard just to protect your man while he hides in the closet? Poor examples, I know, but they were still examples...

Then, there is the "fairness" cry, and how we all have the right to be in any position we want to be, no matter what our gender is. Maybe I'm blind to the X & Y chromosomes or perhaps I'm just plain stupid, but I could have sworn that men and women are two different types of humans. I never knew they had the same qualities that could be shared in such a linear fashion! Why don't men start having babies, instead? Even transvestites have trouble convincing me what they are because I can usually place a gender that they either belong to or should have been. In fact, some women are tougher than some guys, but that doesn't mean I think it is right to lower the standards in training just so all women-like men or manly women can pass the tests!

What is the deal? I went online and did a couple searches, and seen that this was definitely a big deal. I'll give an example of both sides in this debate... An amusing quote from a randomly-searched-for comment field stated: "In physical fitness tests, very few women could do even one pull-up, so the Air Force Academy gave credit for the amount of time they could hang on the bar. Female cadets averaged almost four times as many visits to the medical clinic as male cadets. At West Point, the female cadets’ injury rate in field training was fourteen times that of men, and 61 percent of women failed the complete physical test, compared to 4.8 percent of men. During Army basic training, women broke down in tears, particularly on the rifle range." Source =

Another decent resource for this subject stated for the other side: "Women make up 14% of the 1.4 million active military personnel. Whether they fire a weapon or not, they've been targets of the enemy, just like their male colleagues. 'The reality of today's battlefield is that all who serve are in combat,' said Sen. Jack Reed, D-R.I., a member of the Armed Services Committee and supporter of the change." Source =

I could ramble on and on, but I'll save that for later, most likely. If anybody thinks that they know for a fact whether or not women should be allowed to be combat soldiers in the military, feel free to chime in on this debate. Holla!

Semi-related Post:

Image Credit: Bing Image Search using the 'free to use & share' function. Source =

---End of Post "Should Women be Combat Soldiers in the Military?"

Recent Blog Post: "Grappling is Overrated because of the MMA & UFC sport?"

Master Balls?

Yeah, I'm confused, so I ended up doing a web search about "master balls" tonight. But before I get to those results, I must say how this came about... I was out shopping at a local supermarket earlier today and during the process, I happened to wander close to the sporting goods section. Well, a group of people kept talking about their balls and about mastering something. They were young teenage punks and their jargon wasn't very intelligible, to say the least. Often times, they would seem as if they were speaking about baiting something albeit they were close to the fishing poles, so it started to make sense. I just couldn't figure out how they were going to master the art of baiting when they obviously lacked the tackle. I mean, you must have some type of fishing tackle to bait something, but you definitely can't master the bait if you're a newbie, I thought. Well, as one of them yelled out, "they didn't have enough balls!" I never knew you needed balls to fish, but maybe that is what they were calling the float thingies you can buy for your fishing line or maybe the sinkers for your bait?

So, I assumed they meant "master balls" instead of "master bait" (masturbate?) and I decided to check online for the answer when I got home. I found out that "master balls" relates to either high-quality spheres that are calibrated in an absolute fashion or the best and rarest ball available in any game - especially if it involves Pokémon. Now, I'm even more confused! If these people were just chattering about spanking their monkey, then why didn't they stay home and take care of all of that before leaving the house? But don't sit around half-stoked at a populated store and talk about mastering the art of baiting your fishing hooks when you obviously lack the balls to even use the tackle to begin with.

P.S. I just made this whole story up from the top of my head... LOL!

Resources for Master Balls:

Image Credit: It is considered Fair Use - Source Link is already provided above.

---End of Post "Master Balls?"

What happened to the Little Green Men?

Where have all the little green men gone? I rarely hear about them anymore. Has anyone else noticed this? No, I'm not talking about the little plastic army men that a lot of kids used to play with. I'm talking about the ones from the UFOs. You know, the aliens; ha! Out of all the reports and sightings, the most common ones are the little Grays with big black eyes. In the past, other common reports often detailed little green men wearing spacesuits. Some sightings even included antennas coming out of their heads and whatnot.

Now, since the Internet has blossomed into a conspiracy haven and a place for anything, really, whether false or factual, the alien talk has become more like Star Trek. We have more species of aliens than you can shake a phaser at! We've got the little Grays, the giant 7-9 ft. tall Grays, the big wicked Green Reptilian aliens, the Nordic humanoid-like aliens, and so many others. This is fine, but out of all the supposed races of aliens, why have the little green men taken a back seat? Did the Green Reptilian ones kill them off? Did David Icke's giant inner-world Lizards eat them? Did the Curiosity Rover from NASA run them off of planet Mars? LOL! Did they ever exist at all?

Image Credit: This image is in the Public Domain, as it was released by the copyright holder.

---End of Post "What happened to the Little Green Men?"

Stupid How-to Articles are Funny!

This is a 2-part post featuring "How to write how-to articles" and "Stupid How-to Articles are Funny!"

Part 1:

This particular stupid topic can be funny and disgusting all at the same time. Most of us have seen them, you know, the silly how-to articles that tell you how to do things that you shouldn't need an article for. Informative articles and how-to guides can be very useful, but how far are they willing to go, to churn out article (if you can call them that) after article about the most inane, vacuous crap you can think of. I thought this was a fun post idea, and today I thought I'd share some fine examples of what I'm talking about when I say "stupid how-to articles are funny!"

Please note: I just went on the web and searched for several phrases until I found 10 how-to article topics for this post. Every page title listed below, was actually on the internet . Actually, some of these subjects were written about numerous times.


1) How to eat corn on the cob

2) How to read car gauges

3) How to clean raw carrots

4) How to give your dog a bath

5) How to cut your fingernails and toenails

6) How to wipe your own ass

7) How to remove objects safely from your anus (that one was actually on a Q & A post)

8) How to boil water

9) How to drink water from a water bottle

10) How to mow your lawn

This list could go on and on! Those were just a few I found online within a couple of minutes. LOL!

Image Credit:

---End of Post "Stupid How-to Articles are Funny!"

Part 2:

Have you ever wondered why the web is littered with so many how-to articles? Have you ever said to yourself, "how do they do that?" Well, fear not, as it's not as hard as you may think. To effectively write a how-to article, one must first know how. You don't have to actually know what you're talking about and, hell, you don't even need good grammar or English skills, evidently. Tell yourself: "Self, I want to write that how-to article. I want to pretend to be an online guru. I want to tell people how to make 500 dollars a day while I'm really writing inane drivel and typing poppycock for pennies."

It is time to slap the "how to" in front of your chosen title and let's start that page! The rest of your title (after the 'how to' part) doesn't really matter, as long as you are telling somebody how to do something. Sure, the SEO lords will tell you that your content must be 'just so' because content is the king, but if you notice, most of the time they can't even spell properly so who cares what they think. Ha!

Now that you have confidently plastered your how-to title, lets begin filling in the body of your text with some senseless twaddle. This is the easy part. Tell me how to drink water from a bottle. Tell me how to read my car gauges. Tell me how to wipe my ass. It doesn't matter, as long as you are how-to-ing me to death like it is 1999. After you get bored writing your vacuous sentences, write a couple more. It is good for you and bad for us. Now, add some related links (if you have any) to your page and hope for the best. That is how you do it. LOL!

---End of Post "How to write How-to Articles"

Websites like eHow, wikiHow & ChaCha Answers simply suck!

I can't say it enough. Websites like eHow, wikiHow, and ChaCha Answers give the search engines a bad name. I've been online for a while now, and I've never found a suitable answer from ChaCha or any how-to advice from eHow or that other wikiHow site, ever! If I had a top 10 list for the most overrated, baloney-filled websites, those three would definitely make the list. For one, they seemingly allow anybody to act as a guru, informer, or as a guide. Sure, that is the way the web works (or sucks) now, but could they at least change their names & titles?

Maybe they should call something like "a bunch of folks with poor cognitive function with lots of how-to advice." Maybe they should call something like "don't ask us if you actually need accurate answers" or perhaps call something like "the Wikipedia for everything inane."

Personally, their ineptness doesn't bother me. I can filter through the crap online and go on with my life. What does bother me, is when I see these results pop up in the search engines (while ranking high) as if they are an authority of some sorts. No wonder their pages are filled to the max with adverts. They know that most people with a semi-functioning brain aren't coming back anytime soon!

Sure, if you need to learn how to drink water from a plastic bottle, by all means, go here: [The previous link is no longer active; after a few years, it looks like they finally unpublished that stupid fucking page.]

Those types of websites call for a double facepalm, as I have depicted above. It is really disturbing when you are at work or out in public, and you are talking to some moron that you have known for a while, that says: "I make a little bit of money online, yo! Yeah, I be that there answering them, uh, them those question thingies on ChaCha and shit, yepper." Yep, that would explain a lot... Ha-ha!

At any asinine rate, if that is what you do to make money even though you are not qualified to be doing such, then I guess that is ... Oh, hell no! It is not alright! Go to some place like HubPages or something! LOL!

Image Credit: Shared Photo from

---End of Post "Websites like eHow, wikiHow & ChaCha Answers simply suck!"