Imbecilic Repellent: Weight Loss Poppycock

I'm getting sick and tired of hearing about all of this poppycock featuring weight loss products, procedures, and just plain senseless crap. There is no need to take this pill here, follow this guide over there, or listen to some supposed "expert" or "market savvy freak" or "numbnut in a white coat" telling you about the fundamentals of losing weight! Even though this doesn't have anything to do with me, personally, since I don't have the genes to accumulate excessive body mass... BUT it does disgruntle me when I frequently get subjected to it through advertisements, browsing the web (more adverts) or flipping channels (infomercials, etc.) on a television.

Look, dear doltish, dawdling, darlings... If you want to lose weight, quit ingesting massive amounts of calories and maybe try living a less sedentary lifestyle. There are 3,500 calories per pound of body fat; it doesn't get there by itself. I understand that some people have slow metabolisms, gland trouble, etc., which makes losing weight that much harder. I also understand that, to some, trying to derail yourself from the glut tracks by putting your fork down is as hard as battling drug addictions - due to the constant cravings. I understand this. What I don't understand, is the need for you to fall for all of these marketing strategies that prey off weak-minded, lethargic idiots that are too lazy to even think for their selves. All the junk, gimmicks, false info and deception out there is, of course, just to make money.

We all know that fruits & vegetables is healthier than lard. Fish is good for you, lean meats are fine, grains aren't bad (you can't blame everything on carbs), and so on. By adding some exercise or simple activity into your sluggish life could always help. Wow! Now that's sound advice! Okay, outside from basic common sense, what the fuck kind of informative packet do you need? You don't need some complex surgery to shrink your stomach, no miracle pills, no diet plan, no science article, no "expert," no fuckin' nothing! This is simple!

Now, go get some activity in, maybe even workout, have sex, jerk off (with or without the porn), go wander off somewhere in the woods naked, whatever floats your boat... as it doesn't matter as long as you're doing something besides laying around or setting in front of this glowing contraption. And then, try to keep your TOTAL caloric consumption for each day within reasonable limits. Unless you're a diabetic, it's not all about the fucking CARBs (carbohydrates), either. You can't just "cut the Carbs" then go eat 10 pounds of damn bacon that day and be like, "I really did have much sugar or carbs today." Once again, it is the total caloric intake that matters the most. If you are morbidly obese, you need to start out with a severe cut in calories, obviously. Thanks!

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