The Anti-Dolt Blog

The Anti-Dolt Blog
Imbecilic Repellent

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Leaf Blower - insane, absurd, stupid invention...

This is one preposterous invention, in my eyes. I've never understood the insane reason to own a "leaf blower." WTF does it do? Its absurd "function" is to blow and/or propel air via electricity or by way of a fueled two-stroke engine, which produces the power to funnel air through a nozzle. Wow! I'm really impressed by this stupid, asinine invention!

I had an interview with a Leaf Blower that could talk, so I asked it a few questions:

Q: Okay, let me get this straight: A 'leaf blower' blows the leafs out of a person's path, yard or garden?
A: Yes, I'm Mr. Blower. I help rid your lawn of those pesky little leaves.

Q: If leaves are such a problem, what ever happened to using a simple rake?
A: Nonsense. How quaint, a rake? The risk of performing such raking-type movements might injure these delicate human beings. I'm the Leaf Blower, and I'm your friend.

Q: Dear, are very unusual, odd, queer, etc. What the fuck is wrong with leaves? I mean, they are natural...sort of like Mother Nature's debris and besides, they make for great fertilize.
A: Shut up! You ask too many questions.

Q: But really, what are you good for? All you do is blow stuff around; it doesn't really change anything. The next gust of wind and the leaves are right back.
A: You're blowing my cover! I'm just here for monetary reasons; damn it, shut the hell up!

Q: So, you admit to being a gusty, typhoon of whirling bull-shit that only pollutes the planet everytime your engine is fueled...whether it be by electricity or actual fuel/oil mixtures?
A: Blow me!

---End of Interview with the animated, imaginary "Leaf Blower"

See, I was right. The leaf blower blows due to its ability to suck in so much money from suckers to keep its monetary engines twirling in your insane, absurd, stupid direction. There are better ways to get blown, thanks!
insane, absurd, stupid invention...
Random Blog Post:
"Websites like eHow, wikiHow & ChaCha Answers simply suck!"

---End of Post "Leaf Blower - insane, absurd, stupid invention..."

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