Lawn Mowing Lunatics - Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder - Kill the Yard!

Yes folks, it's that time of year; the grass is growing, pollination is taking place and everything that can sting & bite you is in full swing. Praise be the Spring Time! 

On the flip side, 'tis the season for lawn mowing lunatics who have an obsessive-compulsive personality disorder and sing that crazed song in their head, "kill the yard, kill the yard!" Some of these whackjobs actually take part in frequently mowing their yard every 2 days, et cetera! What a waste of time and gasoline... 

There is nothing wrong with being neat & tidy, but my God, enough is enough! There are really some deranged lunatics out there that are totally obsessed with the upkeep of their lawn. It is a peeve of mine, for more reasons than one. First of all, grass is good (with or without the marijuana implications) and to me, healthy green grass compliments nature. So why do you want to butcher the grass every time it grows over an inch? 

After observing a few local lawn freaks over the years, I have narrowed it down to a certain mental condition. Well, I hate to narrow it down to today's version of "condition," since back in the day, we used to just call 'em all insane and be done with it. Anyway, I think they call this here mental thingy-ma-jiggy a damn case of "Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder" (OCPD). Yeah, that sounds real hip. Just tell 'em, "Yo-yo, I think my uncle is coming down with the OCPD." Whatever, they are a bunch of nutjobs, regardless. If you want to read more about this labeled "condition" without the yard yak, visit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive-compulsive_personality_disorder 

In addition to these blade-slinging fanatics who take pride in the "Kill the Yard" philosophy, most of them use a riding mower. Something tells me, that at least a portion of these loony lawn killers would slow down on the mowing, if they had to push one manually. One would think some of these circus freaks are going to be teeing off in the front yard, since they keep it shorter than a fuckin' golf course! At any rate, whether these people just have no life, simply enjoy riding a mower constantly, or have come down with the OCPD along with other mental problems to be named later, it's their life. But, I can gripe about it if I desire. Plus, I always enjoy making fun of asininity. 

...Oh no, during the time I wrote this, the grass in your lawn has grown 1/1000th of an inch! "Hurry, get those riding mowers started! Kill the yard! Kill the yard!" Dang, that almost sounds like lyrics which could be used by a heavy metal band. I guess, in this case, you could call the band "Lawn Thrashers!" Ha-ha!

 

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